Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
