Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
