I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
