Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
