The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
