she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
