At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
