So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
