It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
