I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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