**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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