i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Even my vagina gasped.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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