he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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