i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
