the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
