Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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