i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
this beer tastes like vomit already
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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