Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
