Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
