I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
