it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
