I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
