My first STD was from a foam party
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
