how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
