I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
