We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize