seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
