Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
