The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
How does it feel to date your dad?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
