Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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