I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
