Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
