My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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