Midget sex pt 2 tonight
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
