Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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