What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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