I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
tell me about the fingering
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