I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
