Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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