were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
