Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
