Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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