bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
