do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
