Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
