Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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