He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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