Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You are a genius and a whore.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
