he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize