Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
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