I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
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