So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
True strength comes from lack of pants
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
