Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I think I am morally bankrupt
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
