you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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