Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
my shit smells like andre
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
