At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
