And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize