i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Randomize
