Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
