Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I lost the right to judge tonight
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
