I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
