Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
