...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
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