I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize