Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
