i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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