yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
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