I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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