someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
