Umm I'm too high to move.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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