I want to have your abortion
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
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