The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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