She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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