some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize