Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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