literally had 100 drinks last night.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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