I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
You smell like stripper and shame
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
third nipple confirmed
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
