you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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