Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
