It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
