You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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