Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize